Anyone who presents wants to command attention, engage the audience, and elicit interaction. Having said that, I often work with individuals who consider themselves introverts and find it daunting to accomplish these objectives. Nerves take hold and suddenly all the techniques – vocal dynamics, purposeful gestures, a strong stance, etc. seem impossible to manifest.
I have found it helpful to encourage folks to channel their most social self instead of concentrating on a myriad of “techniques.” Anyone who considers themselves shy, reticent, or introverted has a social self. Our social self is defined as “how a person perceives themselves in relation to others, and how they present themselves to others.” Another way to think about it, is that it can be the characteristics a person adopts when they are in a situation that requires engagement and interaction.
I vividly recall a gentleman I worked with who was incredibly shy and would do everything he could to fade into the background at work and would avoid speaking up in meetings even when he had important information to share. We began working together because he had been tapped to do a presentation at an upcoming company meeting.
I asked him, “when do you feel the most relaxed and have fun with others?” He said he was from a small but loving family, and nothing was better than Sunday night dinners at his grandmother’s house – with his parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. He said in that environment he would come out of his shell and engage.
My question: Is there any reason you could not bring that same energy to other relationships and interactions at work?
We started there, tapping into those experiences where he felt super comfortable. He created a ritual of taking 5 minutes before an important work meeting or presentation, to sit quietly and recall the sight and sounds around his grandmother’s table. He would see himself being playful with his nieces and nephews, engaging in small talk with cousins and joking around with his siblings. He said during those 5 minutes he would see himself:
- Smiling
- Stepping toward (rather than away)
- Laughing
- Being curious and asking questions
- Listening
- Adding to the conversation – sharing his news
He found that by modeling those behaviors and seeing the audience (perhaps strangers or people he did not know well) as extended family members allowed him to be present and authentic.
This is not about being “on” 24/7. It is really recognizing that each of us, in our own way, has a second gear that we can pull when we need it. And if you recognize that you CAN do it under certain circumstances – you CAN do it under others.
Calling up your most social self will allow you to bridge the gap between fear and engagement. Remember, everyone wants a seat at grandma’s table.